There's a Better Version of You

Let's not celebrate lousy ways to live

Background

My last post discussed historical depictions in board gaming. A few weeks later, I found a controversy involving the depiction of Spanish Colonialism in the new Viticulture expansion. This isn’t Blocked & Reported, so I won’t recount the details here. Long story short, a Youtube channel posted a video that featured one of the hosts crying in response to said depiction. In the video’s comments sections, the host received lavish praise and affirmation from many other gaming content creators.

To repeat my previous thoughts, it’s okay to dislike things. This reviewer doesn’t have to like or play games about certain topics. No one has to like anything except, of course, this blog.

I don’t think the critics of this video provided many compelling arguments. For example, many detractors accused the host of “virtue signaling.” She might be, but I don’t see anything wrong with that. Here’s an article where designer Geoff Engelstein discusses Markov Chains and podcast where discussed the flaws of NFTs and Cryptocurrencies. In each case, Engelstein signals his intelligence, wisdom, and curiosity. No one has a problem with this, I imagine, because there just isn’t anything wrong with signaling virtue. Others argued that the events took place too long to offend anyone. I’m not sure that works either. I wouldn’t want to play a game that depicts slavery or sexual assault from any amount of time ago. As I said in the last article, I don’t think we’ll find any consistent moral principles here. Tastes are weird, and it’s hard to explain why we react to fiction in the way that we do. Finally, some accused the reviewer of faking the emotional response for clout. That could be true, but it’s unfalsifiable.

Yet, I agree with this reviewer’s critics. I think it’s ridiculous to be brought to tears from a couple banal cards, but I don’t think this ridiculousness stems from any broader cultural or political issues. We shouldn’t fight half-baked political ideas with quarter-baked ones. I understand that people love shouting about social issues, but I’m surprised that so few highlighted the obvious: acting like this is just a crappy way to live.

Spoken Like a True INTJ

Throughout my life, I’ve been forced or encourage to take to the Myers-Briggs personality test. Using an, uhh, interesting interpretation of Jungian archetypes, the Myers-Briggs test purports to sort people into 16 personality types. The test suffers numerous issues. People tend to score towards the middle of the constructs, for example, meaning there’s often little difference between the average “judger” and “perceiver.” It also lacks much empirical basis, meaning it’s not clear if the test predicts future behavior. Finally, people tend to see receive different results when they take the test in a different time or place. Since we probably don’t change personalities that frequently, this indicates a lack of reliability.

Yet, for some reason, classrooms and workplaces have never asked me to take the Big Five test, which rates people according to their openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Why is that? Why wouldn’t they use the test that academic psychologists use? Why wouldn’t they use the test that’s backed by empirical evidence and produces meaningful insight? To answer this, let’s consider my results.¹

Looking at the output, I can see why so many organizations don’t encourage this test. Unlike the Myers-Briggs, the Big Five doesn’t attempt to make all results feel equal. As a consequence, someone might get the impression that some outcomes are better than others. Someone might feel that their personality contains strengths and weaknesses rather than mere differences. Someone might feel that they’d be better if they were less neurotic, more open to experience, more agreeable, and more conscientious². And, well, maybe that someone is correct.

The Best Self

I worry that we might have taken pluralism a bit too far. Yes, no race, sex, or sexual orientation is better than the alternatives. That, however, only concerns the differences between people. There’s no reason to believe that there aren’t better and worse versions of ourselves.

It’s impossible to create universal standards of self-improvement. I could say “don’t amputate your arm,” and even that wouldn’t apply to everyone. However, I think I can safely assume that the best version of ourselves is probably healthier, more attractive, and wiser. The best version of ourselves maintains strong relationships, financial stability, and creative hobbies. The best version of ourselves is more conscientious, more open to experience, and sure as hell less neurotic.

The Viticulture World controversy exemplifies a worrying trend: the glorification of neuroticism. I’m not specifically referring to social justice, by the way. Trust me, you’ll see more neuroticism in Fox News comment section than you will from the average Batman villain. Emotional instability is more bipartisan than funding the military. I’m only highlighting this left-leaning³ example since it comes from an area that I understand. In any case, I don’t think neuroticism is “brave” or “courageous,” and I don’t think a publisher should alter their product to respect an individual’s negative emotional response. Being neurotic sucks, and no one should valorize it.

As my Big Five score shows, I can speak for experience on this one. While many loved their college experience (plus or minus some hyperbole), I loathed. I constantly freaked out about tests and grades that ultimately didn’t matter. I felt too anxious and depressed to put serious work into my social skills. When I started my first post-grad job, I performed well at the technical aspects. However, I freaked out over insignificant nonsense, and that hurt both my team’s morale and career’s trajectory. I’ve also consistently annoyed my friends and family with my magnifications of minor issues. These problems have subsided in the past couple years, mostly due to me making a deliberate effort to keep my shit together.

Oftentimes, this glorification of neuroticism arrives under the guise of mental health. Like many excesses, it originates from a positive trend. George Carlin once joked that a real man wouldn’t see the doctor until he’s been declared “clinically dead for six months.” I’m happy that we’ve moved beyond that model, but I think we might have moved too far in the other direction. I suffered from depression for years, and it didn’t make me more interesting or cute. It made me more annoying, more shrill, and less creative. As mental health has entered the mainstream, we’ve seen athletes celebrated (or at least condoned)⁴ athletes for missing games and tournaments due to mental health. Maybe I’m underestimating the true anguish of these athletes, who knows. I just don’t think that’s a good example for many of us to follow

Other Bad Ways to Live

Perhaps the most ridiculousness example of self-destruction comes from the fat acceptance movement. It’s an easy target, I know, but I fear that will reach the mainstream in the coming years. At its most extreme, fat acceptance makes pseudo-scientific claims denying the link between obesity and various diseases. In its most reasonable form, it calls attention to legitimate issues regarding biases and social shaming. While I condemn all shaming, bigotry, and bias against fat people, I don’t think we shouldn’t encourage unhealthy weight gain. Even if we don’t care much for athletics, staying in shape can improve improve every aspect our lives. We’ll add years to our lives, suffer fewer ailments during those years, and have more energy for the day-to-day tasks that matter to us. That’s an improvement, not a mere difference. Of course, many people only workout for aesthetic reasons. That’s good too! We should improve our appearances. Beyond the obvious social and romantic benefits, you’ll always see yourself and the mirror.

Some needs apply to almost everyone. When a friend or acquaintance feels that nothing is going their way, I ask if I can see their resume so I can help them land a better job. Almost everyone can improve their circumstances by finding work with better pay, conditions, or stability. Maybe that’s selling out to the bourgeoise or something, but capital will still control the means of production if you stay in your shitty job. In addition, people need romantic and sexual relationships. I accept that some small part of the population is asexual, but I’m speaking for the vast majority. This is an issue I’ve struggled with my entire life. At different points, I’m tried to convince myself that it’s totally fine to live my whole life without a romantic relationship. I’ve also heard others agree with this assessment, or at least pretend to. It’s wrong, and I think everyone knows that the best version of myself would be one with romantic success. Sure, maybe your life is so radical, alternative, and interesting that this doesn’t apply, but I think it’ll work for us boring folks.

I debated posting this one. Maybe it’s too arrogant. Am I just gonna sit behind my keyboard and tell strangers how to live their lives? Maybe it’s too obvious. There’s no shortage of self-help and self-improvement literature out there, so I probably don’t have much to add. Yet, I see so much lost and self-defeating behavior that I think someone needs to say the obvious things. Become the best version of you, not for politics, but for yourself.

1. For neuroticism, I score highly out on every sub-construct except depression, which I took medication for. Without those SSRI’s, I’d have reached max neuroticism, living up to my namesake.

I also don’t believe I’m as open to experience as the test shows. I’ve also wondered if my disbelief in this result highlights its inaccuracy (as it would show a sort of mental stubbornness), but then I also wondered if that sort of meta-thinking backs its accuracy. I have not reached a conclusion, and I’m not sure if I’m open to a second opinion on the matter.

2. I don’t feel the same for extraversion/introversion. Instead, I think it’s better to be extraverted around extraverts and introverted around introverts. A view it like driving on the left or right side of the road. Neither is better, but it’s pretty helpful if everyone is doing the same one.

3. Some people might not consider this a true left-wing position. That’s a debate worth having, but I am comfortable making the descriptive claim that most Americans would see it as left-wing.

4. I’m leaving Biles out of this. Gymnastics is crazy.